Friday, December 01, 2006

What programming languages to countries

African click language communities: Punch cards
- Click Click Clack Click Clack -> 11010

Mongolia - RPG
- The ancient empire.

Aztecs: Lisp
Was once the most advanced but then got completely lost. We’ve been re-inventing it ever since.

China: Logowriter
- It’s been around forever and you only do what Logowriter allows you. Turn 90 degrees right. Now.

Vietnam: Assembly
- Third world concepts that are much more efficient than a Big War Machine.

Khazakstan: Cobol

England: Smalltalk
- Where most of civilized culture comes from.

Canada: Ada
- Structured, friendly, bureaucratic, what could be more Canadian?

Sweden: Erlang
- One word: Ericsson
(and the cold)

Hungary: Haskell
- Because no one understands hungarian.

Ireland: Prolog
- Both use weird logic.

France: Pascal
- Pascal’s nationality not withstanding, who else tells you how you should be using their language more than the Academie Francaise?

Germany: C
- The most ruthlessly efficient.

Austria: C++
- The people still speak German but they’re a bit friendlier.

Russia: Perl
- What’s sketchier than a Russian hacking Perl? They were made for each other.
- Any sketchier language is unassociable with Russia because it won’t be big enough to deal with Russia’s size.

India: PHP
- Finally coming into the civilized world but still mostly used as a cheap hack.

Poland: Delphi
- Was once great but its space had been invaded by others.

USA: Java
- What other country has such a large bureaucracy with such a huge number of loopholes and inconsistencies?
- Called a War On C but no one knows why.

Switzerland - C#
- All they really want to do is make money.

Japan: Ruby
- By far the most advanced, at the forefront of the cutting edge. Also insane.

South Korea: Python
- Just as advanced in Ruby in most ways, and its rival.

Vatican City: XML
- XML isn’t really a language but that’s ok because Vatican City isn’t really a country.
- Declares reality to be whatever it wants it to be.

2 comments:

  1. Greece: BASIC
    - ξεπερασμένη εδώ και καιρό, αδόμητη, για μικρά και αρπακολατζίδικα projects.
    - καταλαβαίνεις το επίπεδο όταν ο developer σου λέει με περιφάνεια, ότι "οι κουτόφραγκοι δεν ξέρουν, εμείς το κάνουμε σε BASIC και δουλεύει μία χαρά".
    - για την ακρίβεια, το development το κάνει "ένα ξαδελφάκι, που ξέρει από αυτά".

    :-)

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  2. ...Germany: C
    - The most ruthlessly efficient.

    Austria: C++
    - The people still speak German but they’re a bit friendlier....

    Cool!!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete